Am I Even Likable?

I’m having one of those days.

One of those days where I wonder if I’m actually likable.

I know feelings aren’t facts, but sometimes they point to the evidence they’ve been collecting. The people who ghosted me. The friendships that quietly faded. The people who decided to “let me go” without much explanation. Days like today, those memories line up like witnesses.

I notice who doesn’t check in.

Who doesn’t send a quick, “Hey, how are you?”

Who doesn’t seem to think of me unless I reach out first.

It’s hard not to let that become the story I tell myself.

The strange thing is, I also know that story isn’t completely true.

I do have friends. I have people who care about me, who make me laugh, who think I’m worth knowing. And I’m grateful for every one of them. They matter more than they probably realize.

But gratitude and insecurity can exist at the same time.

Lately I’ve been questioning what I even bring to the table. What makes someone want to keep me in their life? Am I interesting enough? Funny enough? Worth the effort? Some days my answer to those questions is, “Not much.”

Depression has a way of shrinking your view of yourself. It quietly edits out your strengths and leaves behind a list of perceived shortcomings. It convinces you that you’re forgettable, that your absence wouldn’t really change anything.

I don’t know if that’s what today is. Maybe it’s just loneliness talking. Maybe it’s grief over friendships that didn’t last. Maybe it’s both.

What I do know is that today I’m feeling uncertain about myself.

I’m trying to remember that being ghosted or losing friendships doesn’t automatically mean I’m unlikable. Sometimes people drift apart. Sometimes people leave because they’re dealing with their own lives. And sometimes there simply isn’t an explanation.

Until then, I’ll hold onto the people who have stayed. The ones who still show up. The ones who remind me that maybe I am more likable than my mind is willing to admit today.

If you’ve ever had one of those days too, I hope you know you’re not the only one.