I do this.
All the time.
I’ll be scrolling, not even thinking about it, and suddenly I’m deep in someone else’s life.
Someone more successful.
Someone who looks happier.
Someone creating better stuff.
Someone who seems like they figured it out.
And then that thought hits me.
Why do they get it all and I don’t?
And it doesn’t stop there.
My brain starts rewriting my whole life like it’s some kind of missed opportunity.
If I had made different choices…
If I had started earlier…
If I had done this instead of that…
I’d have what they have.
I’d be there too.
And in that moment, it feels completely true.
Like I somehow took a wrong turn and now I’m stuck watching everyone else live the life I was supposed to have.
Admiral Ackbar in Star Wars said it best: “It’s a trap!”
Because now I’m not just comparing… I’m judging myself.
Hard.
Every decision starts to feel like a mistake.
Every delay feels like proof I’m behind.
Every win feels smaller because it doesn’t look like theirs.
And I keep going back to it.
Scroll.
Check.
Compare.
Repeat.
It honestly feels like an addiction sometimes.
Not loud. Not obvious. Just constant.
Like I know exactly how it’s going to make me feel, and I still do it anyway.
And every time, it takes something out of me.
My confidence drops.
My anxiety ramps up.
My self-worth takes a hit.
Especially on the days I’m already struggling.
Because then those thoughts get louder.
They tell me I missed my chance.
They tell me I messed it up.
They tell me everyone else did something right that I didn’t.
You don’t escape the trap by winning the comparison.
You escape it by refusing to play.
But if I slow down for a second, I can see what’s really happening.
I’m comparing my real life to someone else’s highlight reel… and then blaming myself for not matching it.
I’m acting like their outcome was guaranteed if I had just made better choices.
Like there was one perfect path and I somehow missed it.
That’s not real.
Life doesn’t work like that.
There isn’t one decision that would have magically given me everything they have. There are a thousand variables I don’t see. Timing, luck, connections, struggles they don’t show, things that fell into place that had nothing to do with being “better.”
But comparison doesn’t care about any of that.
It just tells a clean, simple story.
They did it right.
I did it wrong.
And that story sticks if I don’t question it.
I’m not perfect.
I still take the bait all the time.
But I’m working on it.
Because if I’m being honest, this didn’t start with social media.
We learn this early.
Like, really early.
Kids start comparing themselves to other people around 4 or 5 years old.
By the time we’re 7 or 8, it’s already shaping how we see ourselves.
“Why does that person get that and I don’t?”
That question sticks.
It just grows up with us.
Turns into bigger comparisons, bigger expectations, bigger pressure.
But it’s the same trap.
And I’m starting to see it for what it is.
Not proof that I failed.
Not evidence that I missed my shot.
Just a story my brain goes back to when I forget.
So yeah, I still fall for it.
But not as deep.
Not as long.
And sometimes, I catch it right when it starts.
That moment where I could spiral…
or I could stop.
That’s the difference.
That’s how you spring the trap.
You don’t beat it by being a better mouse.
You stop chasing the bait like it’s going to fix something.
You see it for what it is
and you don’t bite.
Not every time.
But enough times that it starts to lose its hold on you.
And maybe that’s the win.
Not having everything.
Not catching up to everyone else.
Just not letting it own you anymore.
What do you think? Feel free to comment below!
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